ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
