the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Then you guys just all showered together...?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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