o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
