You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
