So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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