I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
