i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
