My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
