Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
