weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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