her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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