The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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