I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
