all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
