Jerry, you need to find god
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Randomize
