u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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