Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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