i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
