Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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