I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
