Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
