im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize