they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
