Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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