He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
