Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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