Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
