you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
