Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
