Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My penis needs a shock collar
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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