IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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