one might say we're banned from that church
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
