That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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