Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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