and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
