he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Are we still banned from the library?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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