Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize