It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize