barbara walters just said penis...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
