who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
