Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
