You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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