last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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