If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
