you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
