got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
