An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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