I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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