So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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