you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
