So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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