he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
