He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize