First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She announced her abortion via fbk
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
