Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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