Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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