3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
