Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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