Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
