just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Randomize
