Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
