I am midnight drunk by noon
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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