Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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