I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
