No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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