this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
