I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
