you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
