It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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