I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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